June 8, 2011

Got back yesterday from an almost 5-day vacation.  We traveled from MI to Calabasas, CA for a friend’s wedding.  We had a lovely time, beautiful wedding!!!  The travel however was not fun.  My 4 1/2-yr old did great on the plane, my 21-month not so much.  It started out bad when American Airlines made us check our stroller with our luggage.  Getting from check-in through to our gate with two kids and all our carry on stuff was a struggle.  I actually asked the lady at the counter if American Airlines was trying to not have families on their flights.  Luckily when checking in for our return flight they told us they only have to check in strollers over 20-pounds.  Shame on you Ohare American Airlines, you gave your customer a hard time needlessly.

I was not looking forward to this trip for many reasons and one was my weight.  For a few obvious reasons I always feel even more self-conscious about my weight when I am near Hollywood.  Luckily there was one person at the wedding as heavy as me.  I felt ugly and fat most of the weekend.  No one made any comments about my weight, I did this all to myself.  It is times like these that I would much rather stay home and hide.  I know I am doing something about my weight now and that’s great, but here is my problem: I want to feel good about myself now, not when the weight is gone.  I want folks to enjoy my company now, not just because I have a pretty figure.

How did I do with my workout schedule while on my little trip?  Not so bad actually.  I did get up really early on Friday (the morning we left) and get in my last workout for the week and Saturday is an off day for me.  unfortunately I skipped my workout on Sunday.  The hotel we stayed in over the weekend didn’t have a workout room.  I could have gone out walking, we were staying in a beautiful area, but I slept-in instead.  I am extremely happy to report that Monday and Tuesday our hotel had a work out room and I did a 30-minute brisk walk both days and today (now at home) I got in my 40-minute workout!!!  I am so pleased, this is actually a huge victory for me.  My many get fit attempts have always failed during and after a trip.  I guess I am in it for the long haul now.

Now it’s time to get serious about changing the way I eat.  I did skip the desert table at the wedding and I made several good decisions while we were gone, but I made many more bad decisions.  I’m not putting myself on a diet, I don’t like diets, this will be a lifestyle change.  Diet changes are actually a bigger challenge for me and considering how hard it was for me to get moving on a regular basis, that’s saying a lot.  I have food issues, anyways, more on that tomorrow


6 thoughts on “June 8, 2011

  1. Good for you Sidney! It’s important to find balance when vacationing. It’s a special occasion so you should enjoy yourself, it’s just a thin line line between indulging and overindulging. When we were in New Orleans I couldn’t pass up on local cusuines so I would split things with Paul or order an appetizer instead on entree and we made sure to walk everywhere which did wonders. It was nice to indulge but still stay in my routine. I think that diets don’t work, or at least not in the long-term, because depriving yourself of different types of foods or food groups is very difficult to sustain. I think for our overall health we need to focus on moderation and portion control. It’s ok to have a splurge every now and again as long as most days you practice self-control.

    As far as body image and how you feel about yourself well I think the more you progress on this journey the better you will feel. Not because you are super model hot but because you are becoming healthier and fit and putting yourself first. I think you will soon fall in love with the person you are becoming. The fact of the matter is everyone that matters already loves you for the person you are today- now it’s on you to do the same.

    • Overall health and portion control are going to be big themes in my new life long eating style that is for sure!! I don’t have a lot of self-control when it comes to food, I’ve used it for a long time as a stress reducer or reward, so yes, I have a lot of work to do here. I do love that I’m investing effort into myself, that has certainly helped my self esteem. For still the majority of my life I was a very thin/fit person and I’m not good at handling comments from my mom in particular (and other family members) regarding my weight. I actually have to remind myself that they all love me, regardless of my weight. I am one of the many who can say my weight has brought me a lot of pain and because of that pain I’ve partially hidden myself from life. I’m ready tp let go of that pain and start again!! Thanks again for reading my blog and for all the encouragement, it’s very helpful and means a lot to me!!

  2. You write, “I don’t want people to like me only when I’m skinny” or something to that effect…self love and forgiveness are two totally difficult things to accomplish. You seem to know more about yourself than u let on in this post…trust in how great you are – no one cares what size you wear except for you. I’ve found when I let go of those beliefs and accept myself at whatever size and shape and good or bad I did for a day that those big changes come easier. One step at a time and you’ll conquer the world!!!

    • As I’m reading your comment I’m agreeing with you, which is good. I still seem to be a work in progress, but I’m diving in b/c I’m ready to really make changes…which means I need to spend some time reading/thinking on comments like this, thanks!!

  3. Pingback: June 13, 2011 | Simply Sidney

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