July 7, 2011

This morning I’ve gone through 4 stages of weight loss: denial, depression, anger, acceptance

How did this happen, well I finally got batteries for my scale.  It has been several weeks since I weighed myself and as I’ve mentioned in previous posts I have not made wise food choices lately.  Back on May 27 I explained how I had lost 5 pounds from my starting weight, that was a very happy day.  Today, well, I’m up one pound from my starting weight.  I know I’m not back where I started, with all my workouts my body is changing.  But my current actions are not getting me to my goals.

My first reaction: well that’s ok, I’ll just keep moving.  I got moving and started my workout.  About 4 minutes into the workout: this workout will be a waste if I don’t improve my eating habits.  I wanted to cry, I wanted to stop and then the tears did fall and I almost stopped.  I kept moving…I got mad, really mad.  I’ve been working at this for several months now and have made absolutely no progress on my weight, that’s ridiculous!!!  Enough…ENOUGH!!!  I settled into my workout and worked my ass off.  My plan was to do the  Jillian Michaels workout and I did.  I worked my ass off.  By the end of the workout I had made a few decisions.  No more pussy footin it about my diet.  Yes, I’ve had problems with bulimia in the past and no, I wont go that road again.  I am older and wiser and I’ll get help before I let that happen.  But something has to change, because my current path wont get me to my goal, simple statement, simple truth.

Here’s the plan:

  • Workout 7 days a week.
    • The days I don’t workout are really bad days for me.  I had hoped to have a day off and maybe once I’m comfortable with my new eating habits I’ll try it again, but not now, I’m not ready.  Bob Green says once you’ve gotten into the habit of 200 minutes a week, you should move onto 300 and 7 days will get me there.
  • drink at least 8 – 8oz glasses of water a day
    • I made changes recently and am back in a pattern of getting this done
  • Make AND start eating breakfast before turning on my laptop
    • I have gotten into the habit of eating breakfast, but many days it is long after my workout is done, too long
  • No eating after dinner
    • I’ve done really well on this goal, I get in my last glass of water after dinner and it has kept me from eating something I shouldn’t.  I’ve heard experts say before that eating before bed isn’t so bad, it’s the food choices we make before bed that makes it bad, i.e. I’m not going to pick brocoli as my night-time snack 🙂
  • Pay attention to the hunger scale
    • Imagine a scale from one to five—one being full, and five being ravenous. If you’re hitting a three—your stomach’s grumbling, you’re physically dragging—it’s time to eat. Any lower than that, and you’re eating to fill an emotional need, not a physical one
  • Make good food/portion choices
    • One of the things I love about eating right is that it is so simple.  However eating right (for me) is so very hard to do.  As Geraldine wisely wrote recently, “wouldn’t life be boring if we had nothing to strive for.”  My guide will be MyPlate, love this site, it makes it so simple, I’ll be looking at this page often over the next several weeks.
  • Weigh myself weekly
    • I’ve shied away from the scale, because I’ve had obsession problems in the past, which lead to bulimia.  I will not weigh myself daily, I repeat, I will not weigh myself daily.  Any problems I face with the scale I will blog about, this process is very therapeutic.
  • Measure myself monthly
    • As we know muscles weighs more than fat and that is where I am headed!!  Big smile, I’ll get there, scratch that I’m getting there.

Well, what a morning, I’m feeling overwhelmed and a bit drained.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be fit again.  I want to be able to do things that I currently am not physically able to do.  I want to look good in my jeans.  I want to feel pretty.  I know I am in this for the long haul.  I know this wont be easy.

Another of my favorite bloggers wrote recently: You can be mad at yourself but only if you take that energy and focus it into doing better tomorrow or next week. Never let one meal or one skipped work out hold you back from being better tomorrow.

Thank you Dacia, that little bit of encouragment has inspired me again today.

Basically I need to put the same effort into my food choices that I have been putting into my workouts.  I know I will be pleased with the results.  I’ve come a long way in the past many months, from not working out at all and eating what ever I wanted.  Now I want to see how much further I can take this.  I’ll let you know.

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6 thoughts on “July 7, 2011

  1. I am sorry you had such a temultous morning although it might have been for the best. I think by taking the time to re-evaluate your goals and then setting out a plan on how to get there you are in a better position to achieve them. At first, I was like ‘seven days a week is too much’ but I normally do seven days a week so I would be hypocritical to think otherwise. It’s important to continue to push ourselves (which you are doing) in order to be successful but make sure you don’t overdo it. You don’t want to let an injury sideline you. I think you know what works for you though, you probably don’t need my advice. I just want the best for you and support you no matter what.

    As far as the scale goes, I do think that weighing yourself weekly is a good idea especially since you are going to continue to take measurements and set other non-scale goals. As you already know, the scale isn’t always the best indication of progress but man is it the easiest way to check. I like my weekly weigh-ins (most of the time 😉 ) because it gives me a quick indication how my body is handling my workouts, meals, sleep, etc.

    One last piece of advice; if you are going to increase your workouts make sure you increase your calorie intake. Your body needs that fuel. Also, if you don’t take in enough calories your body will go into starvation mode and start hoarding fat instead of burning. I know it is counterintuitive but your body needs more fuel to burn more fuel.

    Good luck!

  2. You are right, it was hard, but for the best. Working out everyday is not the ideal and I hope to be able to back that up to 6 and then someday soon to 5 days. You are so right to warn me of injuries. I was just thinking the other day how I need to listen closly to my body and right now it is telling me to get a new pair of workout shoes. As I begin the workout everyday schedule, listening to my body will be even more important, b/c I wont be giving it a rest.

    Yes, more workouts = more fuel needed. I certainly don’t want my body working against me!!! The next several weeks will be interesting. It will take some time to get the formula just right before I start that pattern of weight loss. I’ll keep working it, reviewing what I’ve done and what I know, but simply keep moving forward.

    Thank you so much for the advice, couldn’t do without it, thanks a ton Dacia!!!

  3. Oh my friend I have had many weeks like this one… Like you, I’ve worked so hard for so long and saw nothing! Ugh, so frustrating… but I’m so proud of you for making a plan and setting realistic goals and continue to work hard! Bob Greene also says to “trust the process”. So, even though your scale may not reflect your hard work, in the end, you will see the results you are looking for. Hang in there hun!

    And Dacia is so right! Gotta stay fueled, and stay strong. 🙂

  4. Thank you Amy!!! “Trust the process,” that’s awesome, exactly what I needed to read
    Staying strong, yes, exactly. I just had a little reassurance in the form of a tshirt, it’s one I’ve been wearing again now for a couple of weeks. Before recently I hadn’t worn it in over a year, that’s something and I’ll take it. Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it!!!

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