How many ways are there to do the same thing? A gazillion? Are there any two kids in the world that are the same? Sure we can learn from each other and there are a lot of moms out there with wonderful advice, but in the end we need to do what is best for us and our family.
Living day to day, mom or not, can be hard, that’s the obvious. My family, friends, blogging and tweeting has certainly helped me coop with life’s ups and downs. But every once in a while I remember the best advice I ever got. I was about six-months pregnant with my first son and I was at my baby shower. A very wise mom, wish so much I could remember who, told me to listen to all the advice and then do what ever I think is right. This wise woman gave me the key to so many of life’s challenges. I only took it to heart in reference to my soon to be mommyhood, but recently I’ve realized how poignant her advice was to many of the trials in life.
Families look different and function different, which is amazing. What works for me and my family situation may or may not work for you. Why there are folks out there who feel they can judge anyone is beyond my comprehension. I know many moms who would change their situation if they could, i.e. work more, work less. I also know many moms who wouldn’t change a thing, of course it is ok to want/need to get out of the house, I don’t have to tell you that, you already know. I love a lot of things about my situation but it’s not perfect either.
Which brings me to the first reason for my post. Moms know one thing for certain: our kids are not perfect, but there is absolutely NO reason why they should not love themselves completely and unconditionaly, after all, we do. I’ve known this little fact so clearly for the last 5 years, but haven’t taken the time to realize one other fact, my mom feels the same way about me. Hmm…I’m hard on myself, yes I am, I beat myself up over the littlest things. No, I’m not perfect and it was only recently that I realized that I’m glad I am not. How else would I learn anything. One of my all time favorite quotes:
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more
intelligently. -Henry Ford
This past Sunday a new show started on ABC: Once Upon A Time and I loved it, no surprise there. Here is a little spoiler from the first episode. A woman (Emma) who has given her son up for adoption 10-years ago is found by that son (Henry). Henry has been adopted by a woman in Storybrooke (Regina). Henry think Regina is the evil Queen from Fairy Tale Land and he begs Emma to stay in Storybrooke. Regina sounds like most moms when her son goes missing and she is very protective of her son when Emma brings him back. As Emma turns to leave she asks Regina, “Do you love him?,” I can only imagine that if Regina responds with a convincing yes Emma would feel that Henry is where he belongs and everything would be OK. Isn’t that just it, the one thing we all MUST give our kids is our love. A child who feels love can do anything, can dream the big dreams and be happy. Kids know when they are loved, we parents are pretty transparent on that point. I of course don’t pass up an opportunity to tell my kids I love them. Regina spat out her answer, “Of course I love him.” I don’t have to tell you that Emma decides to stay in Storybrooke, but what is more interesting is why Emma asked her question and the question itself.
Many of us can still learn a thing or two from our moms and or the moms around us. We should love ourselves and embrace any flaws we perceive, those flaws give you a chance to learn. We know when we are doing the right thing for us and if we are or not we should love ourselves anyways, learn from the result, move forward more intelligently and everything will be OK.