Scale Day v33.0

Patterns can show truth that you are unwilling to see.

Prior to my healthy journey I was in a pattern of gaining weight. It was not until I was determined to reverse the pattern that I began to change the pattern. Slowly but surely I began to lose weight. Weeks became months and I watch my BMI shrink from the bottom¬†of the obese range to the top of the normal weight range. I did this with a change in my patterns. No secrets here. I simply lowered my calories, increased my water, and increased my activity…magic bullet.

Now I’m in the end of my first phase in my healthy journey and I’m having a hard time moving forward. My motivation is not the same. Sure I’m not super trim, but I’m no longer over weight. I’m no longer over weight, it can happen, it did happen ūüėÄ With the change in my motivation¬†I was concerned that my healthy pattern would disappear and I would slide right back into those unhealthy patterns. The thought scares the crap out of me!! But that really is not going to happen, sure it could, but it will NOT. I simply enjoy my workouts too much. I also enjoy my healthy eating style. Having energy and feeling good IS my new addiction. Temptations to sleep in or eat an extra piece of pizza are going to happen, but not daily, not anymore.

As of last week I was¬†just over 4 pounds away from my¬†weight goal. My weight goal provides me with a 6 pound margin before I slip¬†back¬†into the over weight range and it’s a nice round number at 130 (remember I’m only 5′ 2′).

Back when I was losing a pound or more¬†consistently a week I was¬†getting around 400 minutes of exercise a week.¬†My goal has remained 400 minutes a week. I¬†have not put in 400 minutes since my Nia training, which was just before Thanksgiving! Sure the holidays put a monkey¬†wrench into my plans and extra work now makes extra workouts difficult.¬†I keep trying to get 400 minutes, but it just isn’t going to happen. My schedule is just so tight and I can NOT do it ALL.

I think it is time for some new goals.

My exercise goal is now to workout once a day, everyday. I’m not going to fight about the minutes, although this should give me mid 300s, not bad. However, if I’m going to lower my minutes, I also need to lower my calories a bit, boo, but a necessary evil.

So why all this re-working? Well yesterday I did something I almost never do, I weighed myself on a non-weigh day. Back in college, when I was bulimic, I weighed myself like crazy. I do not want to become obsessed with the numbers. I want to trust the process. Anyways, I’m really glad I did, simply because of the number, 133.9. I was only 0.4 pounds down from last week, but I kinda love the number 33. There are several reasons why I love this number and I wont bore you with them. And¬†don’t think I didn’t notice that this is week #33, see the name of this post!

Weird!

Today I weighed myself again, because it actually is scale day and I weighed 135.1, WHAT? I worked out yesterday, got all my water, and I did NOT go over my calorie limit. The human body is a mystery! Strange fluctuations have probably been happening all along, but I have not been weighing myself daily to know. But I am super glad I saw the scale yesterday, because I think seeing 135.1 today, after meeting my calorie limit & water goal each day (that alone should at least allow me to maintain my weight) would have made me cry, hard. Unfortunately I did skip two workouts this past week and I didn’t get in any double workouts, for a total of 230 minutes, still not terrible at all.

So what am I getting at? I want to trust the process. I know my minutes goal has to change and I’ll accepted the slower pace in my weight loss. Slow and steady wins the race after all, right?! I think not meeting my exercise minute goal was pulling me down, a pattern I was hating, which is just silly!!

Slow and steady! Trust the process! This I can do!

Do you have a goal that you consistently do not make? How are you going to change your pattern?

Scale Day v29.0

Back in the saddle again, oh boy, oh boy. I’ve been back to working out now for 9-days, 9-days since my neck started to feel better. I’m so happy that I snapped right back into my routine. Well, snap might be largely¬†over stating things. After a week of sleeping in an extra hour everyday I was spoiled rotten!!! In those 9 days, only 6 were¬†morning workouts and only 1 was a full 55-minute workout. Only one!! Yes, so snap does not quite cover what I did, BUT I did get in some kind of work out every day and for that I am ecstatic!!! My goal last week was not to get right back into my 400-minute a week goal, but to hit 300 minutes and that I accomplished, Woot, Woot!!!

Food choices and water I did pretty good on too.¬† My daily calorie average was right on point and I averaged just 1/2 a glass shy of my water goal. Even through my neck issues I stayed on top of my food goals, but it’s been 3 weeks since I lost at least 1 pound, the last three weeks gave me, -0.3, -0.1 &, -0.6.

This morning I felt like I had lost touch with what it takes to lose¬†weight, like I really no longer knew what it takes. To my surprise the scale had some happy news for me. Can you say trust the process? I’ve been doing this journey thing consistently¬†now for 29 weeks. It doesn’t totally feel like a¬†struggle any more, because goals have become habits! I lost 1.2 pounds this week!!! Bringing my current 4-week total to -2.2 :(, but it brought my BMI down to 24.6!! I have 4.6 pounds to go before and I’ll hit my goal weight!!

My plan was to go right down stairs this morning and reward my loss with one of my hardest workouts, which requires using my 3-pound weights. I got downstairs just in time to finish the workout in its entirety, but my weights were missing, I still have not found them. The dear husband and the kiddos¬†have so splainin to do!! No on hides my weights, NO ONE!! ūüėÄ

Ok, anyways…

I’m pushing my weekly workout-minute goal back up to 400!! I’ll let you know how it goes.

Trust the process and keep moving forward, it works!!!

Scale Day v28.0

Oh joy, the scale, after a week dealing with neck pain I was not looking forward to getting on the scale. But it had to be done, if I’m going to move forward from that terrible week.

Last Wednesday started with a lot of pain in my neck that didn’t really start to go away until Sunday.¬† I didn’t workout at all until Monday and Tuesday for a grand total of 70 minutes. Wow 70, when my goal is 400. I probably could have lowered my daily calories a little since I was not working out, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen so I didn’t even try. I simply tried to stick to my mindful eating, not over eating and making good food choices. Over all I did really pretty well on food choices and my average calories for the week were on the mark. My water in take was fantastic, I met my goal everyday. Although I got a lot of sleep in the last week it wasn’t always restful since I often woke up in a lot of pain.

I was hoping that I didn’t gain any weight of course, but I knew that today was also a measuring day and that can often bring better news than the scale. I lost a 1/2 inch on my upper thighs, hips, & waist in the last 4-weeks!!! I also lost a whole inch on my bust, yow. Now here is the really good news, somehow I lost 0.6 pounds this past week.¬†I’m really not sure how that happened. I was almost positive my BMI was going to go right back up into the overweight category, but nope. I guess the weight god took pity on me.

My neck is doing better and I did work out this morning, yeah for the normal routine!! I’m still not all the way back though and I wont be doing my more strenuous routines this week. I certainly don’t want to over push myself and get hurt all over again. I’m going to lower my workout minute goal for the week to 300, which is still a vast improvement over the minutes I got over last 3 weeks.¬† I drove yesterday for the first time in over a week, accidentally cracked my neck a few times, but I did well.

I hope we all really listen to our bodies this week and feel great!!

~Do you want to start or re-start your health journey? I’ve created a list of things that worked for me, see the last page listed at the very top of this page and Create Your Own Healthy Journey today!

Creating Your Own Healthy Journey

I’ve created a new page at my blog.¬† I want to share what worked for me and what I know now that would have helped if I knew it in the beginning.¬† This page is meant to help you get started or re-started on the right foot and empowering you in your own health journey.¬† May 2012 be even healthier than 2011, may it be more fun and may true happiness be yours.

Scale Day v22.0

Thanksgiving has come and gone.¬† I may have had a wonderful week with family, but it was busy and stressful too.¬† Last week I didn’t make a new goal, although I didn’t plan to go completely without my daily goals.¬†¬†I did plan on¬†eating¬†a full Thanksgiving Dinner and to have pie for desert, which I did.¬† I also planned to continue to workout everyday, which I didn’t.¬† I do believe I made good food choices all week-long¬†(except yesterday), even my Thanksgiving dinner wasn’t proportioned crazy, 1/2 my plate was veggies!!¬† I kept to my water goal all week except for the last 2-days and the news gets worse from there.¬† Wednesday was our travel day and I was crazy busy with work and packing…I didn’t exercise.¬† Saturday and Sunday were busy with family activities and I didn’t exercise.¬† The week ended with only 4 workouts for 190 minutes of exercise, pathetic when I consider my goal is 400.¬† I haven’t had a week this low in minutes since before the 4th of July!!

Considering how disappointed I was with my efforts this week I had a terrible time getting up this morning for scale day.  I finally was able to get to it when I remembered as soon as I knew what the scale had to say I could move forward.  Last week I weighed in at 140.8, I was really hoping to still see that zero and I did, in fact I weight 140.4.  I have no idea how I lost .4 pounds!!!

Alright then, Thanksgiving week is done, time to look forward!!!  I only have 3 more scale days until Christmas weekend, wait, WHAT!!  Yes, only 3 more weeks, or should I say 3 more pounds.  I can do this.  I will get back to all my goals: enough sleep, water, hunger scale, food choices, DAILY exercise AND stretching.

Yesterday Dacia brought this wonderful idea to my attention: the ladies over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans posted some brilliance: O, Fitness Р25 Days of Exercise.  There is a printable Christmas tree and everything.  The idea is simple, exercise everyday from December 1st through to December 25th.  Everyday you exercise you can put a sticker on the printout, love this idea!!  Just what I needed to get back on track with daily exercise with the joy of stickers on top.

Here’s hoping we all have a fun, productive, non-stressful December, it starts tomorrow!!!

Scale Day v21.0

Recovering from my Nia¬†White Belt Training has been a work in progress.¬† I do best on 7.5 hours of sleep, so less than 6 hours for 7 days was one thing, but all that activity and the¬†emotional journey is another.¬† My first day off from the training I did not work out at all, totally understandable, I think.¬† Sunday I got right back on track and re-started my morning workouts.¬† Although I am making a guess for how many minutes of exercise I got during my Training days, I believe I got in 490 minutes in the past week, not bad considering a missed¬†one day entirely.¬† My body has been struggling a bit to get back into my patterns, working out in the am, was probably the easiest.¬† I’ve been making some bad calorie choices this week, like yesterday, I went over my limit by 300 calories.¬† The other bad side in my recovery has been my water intake.¬† I did great druing my week of training, but once that activity level lowered dramatically it was actually hard to get in my usual water.

Three weeks ago I challenged myself to lose 3 more pounds before Thanksgiving.¬† When that challenge started with a week of no weight loss I became worried.¬† Last week I lost only 1 pound, which is fantastic, but with all the activity I was kind of hoping for more.¬† This week comes along with a missed workout, extra calories and less water, I was expecting¬†no gain.¬† I hung onto the fact that I measured myself this week (more on that later) and so I had other items to look at than what the scale says, love that.¬† Was I surprised to see a new zero enter my life? YES! With 2.7 pounds lost (24.3 since the beginning)¬†I now weigh 140.8!!¬† My BMI is now 25.7!!!¬† OMG I was shocked, I actually weighed myself a 2nd time, but believe it because the scale gave me the same shocking news.¬† My goal was to lose 3 more pounds before Thanksgiving and I lost 3.8!!¬† And the good news¬†does not stop there.¬† Last week I should have measured, but ran out of time, so Monday I measured. In the last month I’ve lost a little more than 1/4 inch off my waist and bust and a 1/2 inch off my upper arms, hips and finally my calfs!!!¬† I’ve lost 4 inches off my waist and hips since mid summer!!!¬† That feels good, really good.

This bit of incredible news is going to help me stay on track this weekend!!¬† I’m not making any new weight loss goals though.¬† I’d love to lose this next week.¬† I will keep up my water and workout schedule, I’ll continue to listen to the hunger scale, especially tomorrow…but I will be having a piece of my pumpkin pie and 1/2 slice of my mom’s apple pie.¬† It’s time to celebrate, not only my weight loss, but life.¬† I love my family and friends. I’m making good choices for me and my heart is all blown up and feeling good.

As if I needed another reason to be happy…in a few hours I will be seeing my brother-in-law from LA and tonight I’ll finally be seeing the new Twilight movie!!¬† Good good stuff.

I’ve very thankful for all of you that read my posts and have helped me on this journey.¬† I certainly could not have done it with out all of you!!!¬† Thank you and I mean you.¬† Have a happy wonderous week.

Scale Day v17.0

The past 7 days have been a trial on many levels,¬†not just on my healthy journey, but also with work and my passion with writing.¬† I started several new responsibilities this week for one of my clients and it has stressed me out to say the least.¬† More tasks, means more billable hours, means more cash flow for the family and that is worth it in the end.¬† When I start something new it always stress me out, does that happen to you too?¬† It’s past time to take a breath and relax.¬† But I’m also working on a new blog to represent my writing, that part isn’t stressful, it’s the knowing I’m that much closer to my first reality check.¬† The more I think about it the more I am embracing it, I want my writing to get better, I want a chance to one day be published.¬† Until now my writing has been for me, kind of like another child and I need to let that feeling go and embrace positive progress forward.¬† All of these thoughts are what I need to take into this next week in my Healthy Journey.

This past week has been a very busy one for me, which was a test for me and my goals. I sort of past.¬† I did get just over 300 355 minutes in of exercise (just realized I short changed myself on the minutes), but I didn’t even average 7 16-oz glasses of water (my goal is 8) and I went over my calorie limit twice.¬† On a good note I didn’t totally¬†go crazy on calories, just 100-200 calories over, but when you are trying to make a 3500 calorie deficit in a week that is just not OK!!¬† Ok, one more confession, but there is a happy side.¬† Last Saturday, which has become my sleep in day and workout in the afternoon, I had a breakthrough on my book.¬† Instead of working out I kept writing, I wrote over a 1,000 words that day and finished the scenes I’d been having troubles with.¬† On another good note I had my highest workout minutes the very next day, but I can only cheer so far because those extra minutes just made up for the minutes I neglected the day before.¬† In addition with all the busyness I didn’t get in my all of my intended minutes for the week, I had wanted 400, boo.

So ya I was looking forward to scale day, actually I really was, it’s just what I needed to kick me in the pants and start fresh on a new week.¬† I’m happy to report I didn’t gain this week, which the old me totally would have, I didn’t lose much, but I’ll take it, .3 pounds.¬† I like round numbers and who doesn’t, I have now lost a total of 19 pounds and my current goal isn’t totally out of reach.¬† Three weeks ago I stated I wanted to lose 5 more pounds before I started my Nia White Belt training.¬† I have two weeks to go and 1.8 more pounds to go.¬† Oh boy, these next two weeks are going to be serious business!!¬† I AM up to the challenge!!

What challenges have you set for yourself lately?¬† Are you making them work?¬† What could you change to help ensure you’ll meet your challenge?

Scale Day v16.0

Another week behind me and I feel I did pretty good on my goals.¬† Not shiny fantastic but pretty good.¬† There were again areas for improvement and one day I blew my calorie limit and that day wasn’t even the two days spent at birthday parties.

I really wanted to know what the scale had to say today.¬† I was of course hoping for a loss, but 1/2 expecting nothing or even a gain, but¬†NOT because of missing workouts.¬† I did workout everyday, two mornings I opted for more sleep and worked out in the afternoon and I got in two extra workouts for a total of just over 400 minutes!!¬† Wahoo!!¬† I did great with food choices all week, except for Monday night.¬† I attended two birthday parties over the weekend and didn’t blow my calorie limit either day.¬† Monday night we ordered in Chinese food and I have yet to change from my typical order, which includes fried pieces of chicken.¬† WHY??!!??¬† I didn’t eat as much as I normally do, not even a 1/2 order, mostly because I was mentally ticking off all the calories and fat I was consuming and because I was not enjoying it at all.¬† If I’m going to blow my calorie limit I want to at least enjoy what I’m eating!!¬† One good thing came out of that blown dinner, next time I will change what I order, so the blowing wont be happening again the next time we order Chinese.

With all the goals I did meet and the blown dinner I was worried about the scale but I wanted to know, so up I got¬†this morning…1.2 pounds lost! Wow, to say I was pleased is an understatement.¬† I’m glad one bad move didn’t blow all my efforts for the week!!

I have 3 weeks until my Nia training begins and two weeks ago I set a goal to lose 5 more pounds before training begins.¬† I’m happy to report that I only have 2.1 more pounds before I reach my goal!!¬† I’ve lost a grand total of 18.7 pounds, I have 16.4 to go until I reach my final goal and I’ve lost 4.8 pounds in the last 4 weeks.¬† It was also a measurement week for me.¬† Most of my measurements stayed the same or went down slightly, but my hips.¬† I lost another inch on my hips, for a grand total of 3 1/2″ down!!¬† I do think it’s strange that only my hips really lost big this month, maybe it’s my genetics and how the body sheds weight…hmmm…maybe I’ll look into that this week.

I’ve been having nightmares recently where I wake up thinking I’ve regained all the weight I’ve lost.¬† The dreams are horrible to say the least, sure I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to keep moving forward but I don’t like the discomfort¬†left by my dream!!¬† In truth, my weight loss is fantastic, but I’m even more pleased by my added confidence, energy and ability to move again.

This week I plan on getting another 400 minutes of workout in and all my other goals as well.¬† I’m going to place some extra attention on my water in take.¬† I’ve been consistently getting in 7 or 8 16-oz glasses of water, but I would like to see 8 glasses consistency.¬† I’m finding if I can get in 4 glasses by the time I’m done with lunch then I’m not having a problem getting another 4 in during the rest of the day.¬† Goal 1 this week: get in 8 16-oz glasses of water in everyday.¬† I’ve been slacking on my stretching goals and my body feels the neglect.¬† Goal 2 this week: stretch daily!

Have a good week everyone!!

Random Thoughts Monday v6.0

When it feels like 39 degrees on a Monday morning it’s hard not to go right back to bed!¬† I however am feeling pretty energized today.¬† I know pretty surprising, amazing what the right amount of sleep and a fun weekend can do to energize you for the week ahead.¬† Hope your Monday is off on the right foot, even if it’s going to be a crazy busy week.

  • If no one is in the forest does the tree still make a sound when it falls, I believe that it does.¬† When you zone out on your workout do you still work your body well?¬† I’m not so¬†sure about this one.¬† Sometimes it can be hard to keep my mind on my workout.¬† When I come back¬†around I am usually still moving right with my videos, but I have to admit my heart rate has usually slowed.¬† Does this ever happen to you?¬† Does it only happen to those of us who workout at home to the same videos/DVDs or does it happen to those of you at gyms as well.¬† I do think it could happen to me anywhere, I’m just juggling so much these days, but I’m certainly going to change things up, I need a challenge.¬† I’m going to be thinking about my next challenge, hopefully I’ll have more for you on Wednesday.
  • It may be mid October but two new shows are starting in the next week Grimm¬†(Friday, NBC 9/8c) and Once Upon a Time¬†(Sunday, ABC, 8/7c).¬† Luckily I’ve made significant cuts in the shows I’m still watching so I have room for these two new shows. I’m pretty excited about both.
  • It was bound to happy sooner or later, my Tigers lost and my Lions lost this weekend, BOO!!! Even WMU¬†and UofM¬†lost, but alas MSU¬†won¬†(thank goodness they were playing a Michigan team, so we could have at least one football win this week) and the Red Wings won too.¬† Big thanks to the Tigers, what a great year, hold your heads high men and look to next year, I for one can not wait!!!¬† As for the Lions, 5-1 is the start of a great year, don’t let your momentum slow.¬† Maybe San Fran gave you your first challenge, maybe it was just an off week, regardless, watch those tapes and get right back at it next Sunday.¬† I’ll be watching.

My in-laws should arrive within the next hour, time to put the finishing touches on the house.  Have a great week everyone.  Remember to push through each challenge and get ready to face the next, they tend to come quickly even if you are not looking.

Scale Day v15.0

This past week wasn’t one of the hardest on this journey but it was up there at the top.¬† I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, after a couple of obstacles I was struggling, straining and praying to make it through the week with some sort of loss.¬† I was also fighting against the pattern that has appeared over the last six weeks, one week lose over a pound and the next less than a pound, repeat, repeat,¬†I did NOT want the pattern to report for a fourth time!!¬† Head games were certainly a part of my problem this week.¬† I continued to workout everyday, which is really working for me.¬† I had a busy weekend with being out-of-town,¬†a wedding and a date night in which I struggled to stay on top of my water intake and my calorie count.¬† By this morning I was preparing myself for less than a pound loss, which was extremely hard to take after the real strong push I gave it the last two days.

No one was more shocked than me when I saw not 149, not 148, but 147.6, the pattern has been broken!! I had a 1.7 pound loss this week.  My four-week loss is 5.4 pounds!!  Even more important as of today I am exactly 1/2 way through this journey!!!!  I also stated a new goal last week: to lose 5 pounds before I start my Nia White Belt training.  I have 4 more weeks to go and now I have 3.3 more pounds to lose before I knock off that goal.

I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself and I’m going to crack unless I can relax a little, ok a lot.

Last week I worked out over 400 minutes and this past week I worked out 30 minutes less.¬† Why did I work out less?¬† Well for one I wasn’t home to get two afternoon workouts in.¬† Maybe more importantly I knew I wasn’t going to get those extra workouts in.¬† I could have prepared better and gotten an extra workout in before the weekend.¬† Planning for the workout week, area #1 for improvement.¬† I’m doing better on getting at least 7 1/2 hours of sleep and I’m feeling a ton better for it as well.¬† I’ve begun drinking¬†32 oz more¬†of water a day, bringing my daily total to 128 oz or 3.8 liters or 8-16 oz glasses of water.¬† Lets just say my body is enjoying the extra water, I’m keeping headaches away and #2 is coming more regularly. I do have one other area for improvement and that is ensuring I don’t go too long between eating during the day.¬† I’ve gotten pretty good at making sure I don’t go over my calorie limit for the day, but sometimes that can mean a large stretch in the afternoon of no eating, NOT good, I don’t enjoy it and my body hates having to wait too long to eat.¬† Planning out my food so that I have room for an afternoon snack, area #2 for improvement.¬† I’ve added these items to my Weight Loss Journey Goals tab, love that tab!!

So how did I survive this weekend of a wedding, my dad’s big sunday breakfast¬†and restaurant eating?¬† First off horderves¬†at the wedding were killer, my favorite things to eat.¬† Fruit, cheese cubes, guacamole and chips.¬† Did I eat only fruit, of course not, that would be against everything I believe in, but the key was moderation.¬† After filling 1/2 my little plate with fruit I was faced with the cheese plate.¬† I know how quickly cheese cubes can add up the calories, but I took two.¬† Since guacamole is the good fat I took some, but I knew there would only be a few chips so I only took¬†a little glob.¬† After counting out chips over the last several months I know how quickly those large chips get you over 150 calories, so I took¬†only a couple¬†chips.¬† Next up was salad and I forgot to order my dressing on the side, big mistake.¬† I skipped eating the croutons¬†and only ate¬†half of the dressing drenched salad :(.¬† Then on to the main course.¬† I ordered up grilled tilapia, which was wonderful.¬† I had only two small bites of rice and ate a good bit of the grilled veggies.¬† I was very full¬†by the end and drank nothing but water.¬† Although I could have done better it could have been so much worse.¬† The following morning my dad had to make his pancakes, bacon and sausage breakfast.¬† I survived with two pancakes (about 3′ or 4′¬† in diameter), just a little bit of syrup and two pieces of bacon, short glass of OJ¬†and a ton of water.¬† That night I found myself eating out at Applebees.¬† Thankfully they have several dishes listing WW points and calories, but of course I didn’t want any of those.¬† I picked a salad with grilled chicken, ordered the cheese AND dressing on the side, plus I was able to request just a 1/2 order.¬† I have no idea how many calories I eat, but with just a small pinch of cheese and 1/3 of the dressing I think I did pretty good.¬† All in all there were things I could have done better but it must not have been that bad, because I still lost this week.¬† It is very reassuring to know that my schedule can change and I can still pull through a loss.¬† My routines are so ingrained that I didn’t completely fall apart when faced with a few obstacles.¬† I need to let my routine¬†give me strength and trust my instincts when things start to change.

So I’m half way through this journey, well half way through the weight.¬† I’m 15 weeks in and I’m hoping in another 18 weeks to be to my goal weight where I can really say I am not overweight,¬†oh gosh I can’t wait to be able to say that!!!

Rewards, yes I think I deserve a reward.¬† I decided just last week that I’d get myself two t-shirts that I’ve been putting off buying once I reached my 1/2 way point.¬† I’m a book lover as hopefully you know and my two of my favorite series are Karen Marie Moning’s Fever series¬†and Chloe Neill’s Chicagoland Vampire series.¬† The hero of the Fever series is Barrons, holy cow, my goodness what a great character!!!¬† I found a long sleeve t-shirt in pink (b/c I love pink and that is the heroine’s favorite color). The heroine from the Chicagoland series is Merit and her position in her house is Sentinel, I found this Organic Women’s Fitted T-Shirt I’ve ordered them both and I cant wait to wear them proudly!!

I’m trusting the process, are you trusting yours?